Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Why did I get stuck next to this person? And other "ugh" moments

It happens to the best of us; you're excited to take off to your next adventure, when suddenly you notice the person you're sitting next to smells, or talks too much, or takes your arm rest. The list can go on and on. Here are my top "I can't believe I got stuck sitting by this person" type of people. 

1. Crying children

Now, I realize that kids will be kids and some may have meltdowns at times. I also realize that parents may not be able to control their crying child due to illness, or being scared, or what have you. That being said, it is one of the worst things to be seated right next to or in front of a kid that's throwing a temper tantrum. It always seems to be right when you're trying to relax or fall asleep, too. Those ear piercing shrieks make me want an Appletini or two, and fast. 

2. Ew, You Smell

The scene: You're trying to enjoy your packet of pretzels and cup of Coke, when suddenly you are hit smack in the face by a most unpleasant odor. You look to your right and you see the culprit, your seat neighbor eating her egg salad sandwich. Um, ew!?!? First of all, rude! Secondly, where are your manners, miss? Surely it is common sense not to bring something that smells that God-awful onto a plane, or any type of small space that you share with others. And, scene. 

Another version of the Smelly Person was one I personally experienced while waiting at a terminal for a flight out of the country. I was already feeling a bit on-edge as it was my first time flying internationally and I had lots of things running through my mind. My boyfriend and I were seated next to each other and he left to go get a snack, and set his backpack in front of his chair. I started reading my book and a few minutes later felt someone sit next to me. Thinking it was my boyfriend, I didn't look up, until a few moments passed and I noticed this horrendous smell. Sort of like B.O. mixed with garlic mixed with rotten eggs. I looked over and a strange lady had taken his spot. Not wanting to be rude, I took a few moments to think of what to say to not hurt her feelings that she had taken his spot. I ended up with the generic, "um, excuse me, sorry but that's my boyfriends spot" with a meek smile. She tore her eyes from the Michael Jackson special on the TV (he had just passed recently) and gave me a glare. "NO, I am NOT moving" is all she said (shouted, really), and quickly turned back around to watch TV. I couldn't believe she had just said that and I got really embarrassed as everyone seated around us looked at me and gave me the "Oooh, that's awkward, I feel for you" look. Not only was she the rudest person I had ever encountered in my life, but she was the most horrible smelling person as well. This includes the wandering cross-dressing prostitute we encountered in Paris (and that's saying something). WHO was this vile woman and WHY did she smell so bad?? I will never know, but I was able to get back at her after we were called up to the gate over the loudspeaker and told we were upgraded to first class, so naturally I waved the tickets in her face as we were leaving and said "Gotta love karma!"

3. The Talker

Usually I enjoy a light-hearted chat with a stranger whenever it comes up, but normally those only last a minute or two, and are either about the weather, or some type of current event. I'm definitely not anti-social, however I enjoy my peace and quiet when on a plane. I do not want to hear about your latest ailment, where your kids go to school, or your in-depth itinerary of your vacation, unless I ask. Of course, I never ask The Talker, because he/she doesn't care if I really want to know these things or not. They're just talking for the heck of it. At this point I usually pretend to fall asleep, or put on the good ol' headphones. 

4. Ignorant People

There are many types of ignorance, however I'm specifically talking about the ones who do not follow and do not care to follow the rules. When the captain says to turn off all of your electronics, he means it. This does NOT mean that you can sit there on your stupid phone, pretending to not have heard, or worse, thinking you're above the captain's orders. If the plane ends up crashing because your stupid phone or electronic was on the whole time, I am forever blaming you. 

All of the above know how to ruin a perfectly good plane ride. Is there anyone you would add to your list?

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